Sometimes we don't know what small little thing will trigger those old feelings, what little detail will be shared that will send us hurling back where we never wanted to go again. Insecurities, doubts, an imagination running wild. You can't even begin to imagine how many nights you will lay awake wondering, how many nights you will be angry at yourself that you are right back at square one. Is there validaty to your wondering? maybe, maybe not. Does the action speak louder than the words?
You see yourself walking the path once more, not nearly as foggy as before, because this time, you feel more in control, more able to see. Your vision is only partly clouded, but the feelings however are not. They are there, as strong as ever. And where you once trusted your gut feeling, this time you are unsure, this time you don't trust it. This time it is different. The path you walk is a familiar one, but the scenery is a little different.
But is it really? would you know if it weren't? probably not. And so here you sit, a million thoughts blow through your mind, at a pace that won't allow you to sleep. It is the first sleepless night in a very long time. You try to piece the little things together, think back through the day, you weren't paying attention when you should have been. You had stopped paying attention a long time ago, you felt safe in your surroundings.
Now you stand at the end of the path, unsure of what to do.
